So last Friday I thought to myself, why don’t I start reviewing apps, dating apps, fitness apps, lifestyle apps, the lot. Firstly seeing as my blog is quite relationship based I thought I’d start with dating apps. Now I have never used a dating app before, the idea kinda freaks me out. But to be quite honest with you, nowadays, Instagram, Facebook & Snapchat are all forms of dating apps just disguised in a not so obvious, lets
fuck date kinda way. So I thought seeing as I’m single, I would give you my honest experience on using the app ‘BUMBLE‘..
HOW TO USE THE APP
You have to log in using your Facebook account so you need a Facebook account to make a profile on there. Secondly, you need to write yourself a bio. Now I’m not gonna lie, I kept this blank but obviously had to slide my Instagram in there some how. Lots of my friends swear by being logged into various dating apps with their Instagram’s connected because apparently that’s the secret to getting your followers up. Tick! Now you have to arrange your photo’s, ideally so your most ‘sellable’ photo is first and then the others to follow, (these all come from your Facebook profile photos). After doing that you have a section where you can add your Job, Education and then various options to connect your Instagram and Spotify accounts. You’re then faced with some options, whether or not you want your profile public or not, your sexual preference, the age range you’re looking to date and the distance. I set mine to ages 24-30, 30 miles away and interested in Men!
THE TWIST TO THE APP
Now the most interesting twist about this app is the fact that the girls have to message the guy first! So if you match with a guy and then he matches you back, you then get given 24hours to start a conversation with them otherwise time runs out and your matches disappear!
MESSAGING A GUY FIRST
Now I know the idea of messaging a guy first would literally terrify some girls but I’m gonna be honest with you, I’ve been known to slide in a few dms first. GUILTY! And there is no problem with it, most guys have loved it, although one guy pied my dm slide. I basically started sending him multiple images of furniture into his dms such as a fridge, a sofa and a bed, and when he asked me wtf I was doing I said, ‘don’t mind me, just moving into your dms’…he physically aired it. But anyways, who wants to date someone with no banter because I certainly do not.. Saying that, my most successful dm slide was sending an actual slide into the dms and ended up talking to the guy for literally 6months+ so let me reassure you, sending the first message on Bumble is perfectly ok..and if they pie you, well you had a lucky escape then didn’t you hunsss.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS ON BUMBLE
So my first day on Bumble, I think I swiped left to about 300 guys (which means no) before thinking I need to change my tactic, I know dating is based heavily on looks but banter is the key for me so I began reading everyone’s bios to see if any made me laugh. At the end of the day it’s great to be hot, but we all know funny gets
fanny the girl. A bio that really made me laugh (and I matched him solely for this reason not because of my attraction towards him) was ‘Can we just tell my mum we met in a nice bar or something’, that made me laugh so I thought yessss, lets see what this guy is all about. After about 10 mins or so of small talk I was ready to un-match him. He made everything seem quite sexualised and it was just majorly off-putting plus he asked me to go on holiday in April with him so I thought I better get out now. After that situation, I matched a few people I knew of for the crack, and was actually so surprised that pretty much 90% of the guys I already knew was on this app. Not sure why I thought no one would be on it but turns out pretty much everyone is. I matched a few other guys, one guy tried interviewing me and it just stressed me TF out, he got unmatched within like 5 or 6 seconds, so I’m sorry about that but that’s not a bit of me! That’s the problem with this generation, we’re EXTREMELY impatient and we can easily dispose of someone because we know 2 swipes later we’ll have another potential bae at our finger tips, literally. I think we all say we know what we want, but I don’t think any of us truly do, do we?
Now there’s a few guys I’ve spoken to in the past where I hang on their every word, and everything that they say just make me die, so that’s kinda the vibe I look for. Small talk to me, makes me physically snoozy. ‘Hi, how are you?, hows work? how’s your day going?.. all seems relatively normal and nice but to me, it’s boring. I get bored with the same old bullshit, sorry but I do.
WHO DID I MATCH WITH
I matched a few cuties, but bloody hell, it’s like the cuter they are, the more boring they are, maybe they have nothing to say because they’ve never had to? Who knows. After the pretty boys I matched with, I matched with a few overly sexual keenos who were asking me about my flexibility and whether or not I owned maid and nurse uniforms..again, not my sort of banter within the first 5 mins of getting to know someone.. or is it? I duno, they always say depending on your attraction for someone will always delegate how creepy, rude or offensive you interpret their chat. I think this is true. I would probably say if a past flame had asked me any of the above I would have definitely returned the flirting but I guess the attraction just wasn’t reciprocated on my part. Anyways lessons learned..who was I left with? Two guys, one who was cuddling a fluffy bunny, clever tactic there, ‘May or may not come with the bunny rabbit’ and another guy who asked me why I was on the app. Well to be honest huns, I downloaded it partly, to see if there were any pengtings like you on here and secondly because I am going to write a post on the app. This didn’t seem to scare him off, instead he came up with my new bio for me..
So what else did I find out about my two new matches.. well Fluffy Bunny Tom sold drugs..not the kind you’re thinking..the legal kind, for Doctors and shit like that..and he was very team me and my blog which was very refreshing. And the other guys conversation just flowed and I enjoyed chatting with him..so in terms of using the app and whether or not I recommend it, I would say, you got nothing to lose. Even if you’re feeling a bit sad and you need a little bit of a confidence boost, then why the hell not. After being on it for 2 days, it’s actually not as creepy and weird as you’d expect it to be, it’s an app at the end of the day and truly we’re all looking to find that someone, but just be sure to use the cover story, ‘we met in a nice bar or something…‘
I hope you enjoyed reading this post! I’ll be back soon with another.. for now make sure you’re following me on Instagram to get the low down.. @XO_DT!